1
Ru Shi was a concubine. Since her adolescence she had lived in the Forbidden City. Her only purpose in life was to serve the emperor and his amorous interests. She was like a prized bird, kept in a cage, never to be free. But it was what she wanted, what she wished for above all else. She wanted to be free, as free as the birds that flew in the sky, as free as a crane or a phoenix, with its scarlet plumage against the bright blue sky.
2
She sat in a horse drawn carriage, hidden from sight. A guardsman drove it. They had fled the Forbidden City. They had done it, only they were not safe, not yet, and perhaps they never would be. The guardsman Li Jie was her only companion. They were on an isolated country road.
Escape was her idea.
The emperor had slighted her. He chose another concubine when it was supposed to be her night. That was when she knew that she couldn’t do it any longer.
She begged Li Jie, her lover to escape with her and to begin a new life with her.
He had forbidden it at first. He refused her, since they would be risking their lives, but she told him that she would rather die than keep living in that hellish world, a world where she knew she would slowly die.
Finally he did what she wished.
She recalled their first meeting as she sat in the carriage. She saw him in the throne room when she was first presented to the emperor. He had caught her attention. He was a strong and handsome man, while the emperor was sickly and effeminate. The Son of Heaven was a mockery of masculinity.
No one had any doubt that the emperor would die prematurely. He was that prone to illness. He needed an heir and Ru Shi hoped she would be able to give him one. But it had not happened. Another concubine, her rival, had been the one to birth the emperor a son. All of Ru Shi’s work had been for nothing. And it had been that rival that the emperor had later summoned on Ru Shi’s night instead of Ru Shi,
Perhaps it was meant to be. She loved Li Jie and had no regrets for having done so. How could she love that pathetic tyrant of an emperor? The dynasty was crumbling and would soon fall. It could not last under his reign.
She poked her head out of the window and asked Li Jie that they stop soon. They found a nearby forest. Underneath a series of trees, they made camp.
Elegantly she sat before the fire, resting her head on Li Jie’s shoulder. He still wore his uniform from the palace, a dark tunic underneath an indigo robe, his hat black. He clutched his sword. Their enemies may come for them at any moment.
She was about to fall asleep when they heard a sound. It turned out to be nothing, just a fox. It scampered away, leaving them alone. It’s how they wanted it. They wanted to be alone.
3
Her days in the palace were mostly spent in her chambers. Ru Shi had whatever she wanted. Food, servants, clothing, and jewelry from the farthest reaches of the empire, but she lacked what she needed most of all. A purpose. She thought that birthing a son was her purpose, but even that was lacking.
In those days, she could only think of the handsome guardsman named Li Jie. She hated it. She knew that thinking of him in that way was forbidden, but she couldn’t help herself.
As the emperor’s concubine, she was not allowed to fall in love or to have intercourse with anyone but the emperor. But her heart refused to obey and she found herself wanting Li Jie more than anything else.
And to her horror, he wanted her as well. It was horrifying because she would have to test her fate, a fate that was perhaps better left untested.
Once in the middle of the night she summoned him.
She couldn’t deny herself any longer. They kissed and then they made love. It went on for months like that. She would summon him and then they would spend the night together. But when she failed to be the first to birth an heir, she knew that she couldn’t keep up the charade any longer. It was over.
4
She wondered for how long could they live like this? Would they survive? Her answer came sooner than expected.
They heard horses trotting in the distance. Three other guardsmen approached.
They had been found. Ru Shi and Li Jie kissed one last time. Li Jie drew his sword and he faced them only to be cut down, mortally wounded. Ru Shi ran to him and before she could be stopped she took out a dagger from her robes and sliced open her throat. The blood spurted. She died, happy to have chosen her destiny. It was better to die on her own terms than to live the rest of her days trapped in a gilded cage.